Here is a story of a straight woman who was deeply in love with her long-time lesbian partner, but was betrayed and was devastated. They’ve been together for three years living the life every lesbian couple could imagine.

The betrayal

She trusted her lesbian partner. She caters to her needs and all that goes with the role of a housewife. She thinks that everything in their lesbian relationship was okay and that they will never separate ways. They promised to be together for the rest of their lives.

It turns out that her lesbian partner has a lesbian affair with another woman. She was very devastated. She never expected her lesbian partner to betray her after all that she did for her. The lesbian partner she thinks she will have for the rest of her life is having a lesbian affair with another woman.

Dear Jandi,

Breaking up with someone you love is the most painful and stressful thing that you can feel specially if your partner betrayed you. The person you thought you could trust and count on is no longer the person you believed them to be.

I would like to share how I deal with my emotions after the break up. I had a relationship with someone whom I’ve known during my teen age days.  Being in love will let you feel the happiest and the loneliest moments of your life. I am happy, seeing how happy she is with me feeling the love and care we shared. After three years  together  we broke up. Breaking up with someone you still love is hard however more pain will be caused by trying to stay together if the relationship truly cannot work out.

How dumb am I not to recognize the signs. Staying with someone having  an affair with someone else is not worth the effort .  I can’t believe I  wasted so much time and effort on a partner who didn’t appreciate what I’ve done.

I am angry with myself, with my ex partner and I feel so lost, alone and confused. It came to a point that ” I want to die now” to stop the pain. I keep wondering when the pain is ever going to stop. Trying to stop crying but the tears just keep coming. Finding it hard to focus on anything and thinking I am a total failure of love and  never have the kind of relationship I want. I don’t know how to get to the next step. I kept asking myself. Is it time to move on, but how?

Leaving the past behind is hard enough. I’m stuck in my room almost everyday and that makes me more crazy. Until I found myself letting go of the anger and pain. I need to accept that our relationship is over, and there will be no turning back. Contacts should be stopped. I know I am not the only woman to have experienced this kind of  heartache. I am having a hard time moving on but I must do something. I go to church regularly and pray. Prayers helps  a lot to regain my strength. I go out with friends and having fun, and shared my sorrows with them. It is a big relief to share your grief with someone else. And I was lucky enough to have few friends who are willing to listen to my sorrows and  support me during my grieving process.  I keep myself busy so as not to think of the anger and pain.

Betrayal changes everything. It changes one as a person. When trust is lost, anger persists. A broken heart full of pain and sorrows that is long and lasting. Experiencing betrayal is tough, but we should face our fears by taking risks, building positive relationships. So, I’m picking myself up and starting over.

Trying to remain friends after a break up usually doesn’t work. It is hard and awkward for both.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 God does have great plans for my life. After the storm comes the sun.To my surprise I found love from someone that I never thought would come. I know there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. But, people grow through experience.

From: Anonymous

Lesson from the Story:

Never give your all. Leave something for yourself. In other words, love yourself before loving somebody.

If you are then take a deep breath and think before you fall into a trap.

Most people who have a huge age gap, say 10 – 20 years age gap, are most likely to fail in the relationship.

Here are a few of the reasons why:

1. You will not have the same likes. People older have their own thing so with younger ones too. The older one likes the older ways and vice versa.

2. You will not have the same wants. For sure, because of your age gap, your wants will be very different.

3. You will not have the same sense of purpose in life. Older people tend to be more focused in life than younger ones with some exceptions.

4. You will not have the same wave length in any discussion. Older people are more serious in discussions than younger ones.

5. You will not have the same energy in anything you do. As people age, energy fades.

6. Jealousy will always ensue. Older people are the ones that usually gets jealous in the relationship.

As in any kind of relationship, the most that would most likely succeed are those couples who have the same wants and needs and fully understand each other.

So, how do you overcome not to fall into the age gap relationship problem?

Here are a few effective yet very simple solutions:

1. Date someone with your age. Dating someone with your age is the most ideal thing to do. Mostly people with the same age will have the same wants and needs.

2. If you can’t get away with it, date someone with just a 3 to 5 years age difference. In this way, things will most likely be the same as when you are both of the same age.

3. Don’t date someone with an age gap of 10 years and over. They are most likely the jealous ones as they will always feel insecure of themselves. They will always feel that the sooner the later you, as the younger person, will get someone younger or within your age bracket.

While there are those who succeed in their relationship despite the age gap issue, majority of these relationships fail for the reasons above indicated.

Stay away and don’t fall for someone who will later give your life some misery. If it’s not worth it, why bother. Always do a good favor to yourself.

Should you fall into this age gap relationship issue, talk to your inner self whether you can make your relationship work. However, it should not only be you who will do the work. Talk to your partner as to whether or not she is willing to sacrifice things that will work in favor of a healthy relationship. If it seems impossible, then slow down and look for a way to exit.

Any thoughts on this issue will be much appreciated.

Everything in modern society is based on money. Being rich allows you to do what you what. Money certainly buys you comfort. With money, we can obtain an advanced education that may aid us in the development of genius and extra ordinary achievements. Money is the means by which we may fulfill our purpose in a larger and better way. Money is important for a successful life. If you are financially strong, every one adores you, respects you and many people want you for a friend. Nice guys with no money will never win in life. The man who has the money makes the rule.

Money is important…you can give your children the best. The best education, the best health care, the best  of everything that money can buy. Without money, life could be very stressful. Financial burden is the number one cause of stress.

Money is vital for survival. Without money, people are deprived of the means to obtain proper nutrition and health care. In some cases where states benefits are inadequate, the inability to pay heating bills can indeed become a matter of life and death.

Some women would even trade their self-esteem for money. And many young girls marry for money than love because they believe that security is more important than happiness. Money certainly buys you comfort and it is a major source of happiness. But money can also bring unhappiness.

What about love?

Love means to cherish, hold dear, and treasure. We do not hurt, harm, or cause pain to those we love rather seek to relieve their suffering. Love is the only thing that can end up conflict. Love ties the people together in a way of helping each other.  Love is not about feeling good, it is about doing good.

Money can’t buy everything…especially love. It can buy all the things you ever wanted, but not real and true love. Money does not buy happiness. You can be the richest person in this world yet still unhappy. Without love your life becomes colorless, boring and empty. Only love has the power that can lead someone into real happiness. If you find someone who loves you for what and who you are, you are going to be blessed with more happiness than money could ever buy. Love feeds our emotional needs. The life goes artificial without love. Love makes life romantic and beautiful.  If you have all the money in this world but without love, your life can have no meaning. Sometimes money can blind you towards the things you already have. True love can also be overpowered by a materialistic mind taking for granted what money can’t buy.

Money is merely a tool to meet the needs of our life but not everything. Money can be both good and evil. Depending on how you view it, money can be the root of an evil deed or it can be the source of good thoughts and ideas. For example, it can be a source of inspiration to do good things like charitable work.

Money can buy you comfort, but not true love. But love alone is not enough. While we can’t live without love, obviously, we cannot survive without money.

Are you a lesbian? If you believe you are, then how lesbian are you? It does not matter how you get it, the thing is, are you really sure you are a lesbian? Try to recollect your past. Did you become a lesbian by birth, by peer influence or the influence of your surroundings? If you did get it by birth, then you will know that deep inside you, there is something that is special and unique unto yourself. You are your own. However, if you did get it by peer influence, then maybe you have to think about where, what and who influenced you. Becoming a lesbian by peer influence can be destructive and could lead to a miserable life later on. Your environment plays a big role too in how you are being molded as a person. If the environment you live in consists of people who are into lesbian relationships then chances are you could become a lesbian too.

The lesbian story

A lesbian couple I knew of had been together for more than two decades. They have two daughters. One just recently got married to a soft butch, someone who dress and act in a masculine manner. The other started to show off some masculine acts and is now getting worse. Although she wears long hairs, she talks and dresses up like a guy.

So, what influenced these two girls?

Many of you may think that what made these two girls lesbians is because of the way they were brought up. As mentioned, the two girls grew up with parents who are lesbian couple. But, this could just be part of the equation. What most likely influenced these girls are the parent’s lesbian couple friends who would drop by at their house almost every weekend and sometimes stays overnight. It’s the environment.

The challenge

There are many challenges in a lesbian’s life. There is the mean look of people who will most likely dislike you, because of your being you. Or, you could face the challenge of being ridiculed by friends, colleagues and even by members of your family.  Better yet, people may throw stones at you or talk malicious words against you. But, all of these are just part of something bigger when you later on face discrimination in the workplace.

The choice

You have a choice. If you believe you are a lesbian and you are happy with who and what you have become, then go for it. Some people would respect you for that, but be prepared for those who will not. Otherwise, think a million times before you let yourself sink in into the lesbian world. Peer influence or the influence of one’s environment can be disastrous and may just be a temporary thing. It is because environmental influence could die down as people come and go.

Let’s take a look at a woman where, when she was still in her teenage years, she thinks she falls in love with her best friend. They were schoolmates and would hang out whenever they have time — after school, weekends or holidays. The two become closer that it came to a point where the two kissed each other. Here, there is a special feeling between the two because of the closeness they have for each other. Were they lesbians?

No. Perhaps they were just carried away because as teenagers you sometimes get confused of yourself and/or your feelings.

This story is of a real life situation where the two ended up marrying the men of their lives. They later on admitted that they were in a situation where they really don’t know what real feelings are.

Clear up your mind and thoughts

Try not to get confused. If you are faced with so much confusion and uncertainty in your feelings towards other women, get a reality check. You may think you are in love, but in reality you are not. Be extra careful of your actions towards other women because you could be misinterpreted. Situations like acting up because of curiosity can be very emotionally destructive.

Ask yourself. What do I really want? Do I want a woman for the rest of my life? Or the man of my dreams? But, beware! Don’t marry a man just to hide your lesbianism.

So, how lesbian are you? Remember, being a lesbian is not an easy role to play.

Can you spot the difference?

Unless you have experienced a lesbian relationship with these two types of women, you can never tell if loving one can be better off than the other.

Lesbian Relationship With a Gay Woman

Entering into a lesbian relationship with a woman who is known to be gay can give you a peace of mind. Why? Consider the following points:

• She is gay. Once gay will always be gay. In other words, there is an assurance that she will not be into guys. And if this is something that worries you a lot then you are pretty safe.
• She is more focused on the relationship. Gay women are known to be more focused on building a good lesbian relationship rather than wait and stick around for a while.
• She knows where you are coming from. A gay woman can relate to your feelings. She can easily understand you from within. Isn’t it not that you both feel the same in the first place?

Lesbian Relationship with a Straight Woman

If you experienced having a relationship with a straight woman chances are you have gone through some frustrations and discouraging moments in your lesbian life. And the reason is plain and simple:

• She is straight. As such, there will come a point in her life that she will crave the presence of a guy. You are lucky if that doesn’t play out in her mind. Can you make her feel guilty?
• She may want to have kids of her own. You are very lucky if she has already kids of her own, but chances are if she has none she will definitely want one. The absence of kids sometimes creates a void in a lesbian relationship.

Lesbian Attraction

While it is more advantageous to be with a gay woman rather than with a straight woman, majority of lesbians prefer to have a straight woman in their lives. The reason behind can be gleaned from the fact that:

• You can easily hide a lesbian relationship if you are still not out of the closet.
• Having a relationship with a straight woman can boost one’s ego, especially to the butch type of lesbians.
• Lesbians are more attracted to straight women.

Be that as it may, the success of a relationship, or its failure, is not measured by who you are with or what she is, it is what is in your heart. If you are willing to pour your heart out to the person you care about then all things can be made possible.

I will be posting more often in the next few weeks as I have a lot of lesbians stories to share. Lesbian stories that will hopefully open the minds of those who frown upon lesbians.

Please bear with me my dear readers and thank you for your continued patronage. I wish you all a “MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A BLESSED NEW YEAR”.