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Is there jealousy in lesbian relationships?

jandi — Sat, 22 May 2010 03:06:28 +0000

Absolutely! Jealousy is present in every kind of relationship, including lesbian relationships. If you value a person, it can make you jealous when there is a perceived threat, real or imaginary, in your relationship towards that person.

For example, a woman who fell in love with a lesbian because she made her feel she had “finally come home” to a safe and secure place can experience the most painful aspect of her jealousy as “feeling abandoned and all alone” if something goes wrong with their lesbian relationship.

Jealousy cannot be avoided. It can even sometimes blind you. It can distract you so much so that it can even affect your ability to see clearly what’s right from wrong.

While some tend to shy away from people who are the jealous type, some prefer to have them because it proves that true love exists in the relationship.

If you are tormented when your lesbian partner looks at someone else or if your imagination torture you with romantic scenarios that don’t include you, you may already be experiencing jealousy. Jealousy is a real life issue that plagues many relationships including lesbian relationships.

If your jealousy is causing you to feel scared and afraid that your lesbian partner will leave you for someone else and you will be left alone, talk it out with your partner before it gets worse. However, if your jealousy is something that is out-of-control and constant questions are bombarded to your lesbian partner, questions like — where have you been, who you’ve been with and what you were doing, these can sometimes irritate her that can lead to mistrust and misunderstanding in your lesbian relationship.

When there is love, there is jealousy. Who doesn’t? The reality is you will get tormented when your lesbian partner looks at someone else.

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Is a lesbian relationship right for you?

jandi — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 05:17:54 +0000

Straight women who fall in love with lesbians and lesbians who have been in a lesbian relationship or are currently in a lesbian relationship may have asked themselves the question of whether or not a lesbian relationship is right for them.

If you are in a lesbian relationship right now, have you ever thought about it? If your current lesbian relationship is right for you? This question would surely come up in one’s lesbian mind as you go through the process of building a lesbian relationship with your girlfriend or lesbian partner.

But, how do you exactly know if a lesbian relationship is right for you? No one will ever know unless you are a lesbian or a straight woman who have had a lesbian affair or in a current lesbian relationship. Because in the eyes of people, a lesbian relationship is completely wrong.

So, is your current lesbian relationship right for you?

A lesbian relationship may only be right when both of you are ready. Entering into a lesbian relationship is no joke. It is no different than any other kind of relationship. It is important that both parties are ready to make the lesbian relationship work.

Being ready means:

1. You are 100% sure of your sexuality. In other words, you know in your heart that you only like women and not men. It is safer to gauge your sexuality first before plunging oneself into a lesbian relationship as it is better to be certain than feel sorry. What type of lesbian are you?

2. Not hiding your relationship to your family and friends. It means accepting the lesbian relationship openly without any reservation.

3. Willingness to give and take. Such that if both parties are miles and miles apart, one must be willing to relocate to be with the other person without any condition.

4. Emotional stability. There is no point in keeping up a lesbian relationship with your lesbian partner if you are emotionally unstable. If you are still flirting around with other girls or having another affair, these are signs of emotional instability. By being emotionally unstable you will end up hurting your lesbian partner’s feelings. Entering into a relationship with someone you say you love requires commitment.

5. Financially stable. The success of a lesbian relationship lies in the hands of the partners involved. While being emotionally stable is very important in order for a lesbian relationship to work out it is likewise important that both parties are financially capable and able of supporting each other.

A lesbian relationship will always be right in the eyes of two women who are deeply in love with each other and who are committed and willing to share and spend the rest of their lesbian lives together. And no matter how other people will look at it, they will always think their lesbian relationship is right. For to them, the love they shared will never be wrong but will always be right.

For who are we to judge when what matters most is how two people share true and everlasting love?

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Is a past lesbian relationship worth taking back after the pain and sorrows?

jandi — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 02:22:14 +0000

What is your opinion on the issue of whether or not to take back a past lesbian relationship?

Got an email from one of our avid readers asking for some lesbian relationship advice. Following her email is another email which she received from her last girlfriend who dumped her at a time when she needed her the most. Our site visitor has now moved on with her life but wanted to make sure if she is making the right decision — that of not taking her girlfriend back. Did she make the right decision? She feels however that her girlfriend deserves a second chance.

Email from our site visitor

Please help! My girlfriend of over two years wants to have me back. She dumped me early this year after I lost my job. It was very painful for me. It was at that time when I needed her the most, at least for emotional support. I now have moved on with my life. Is it right to take her back after what she did to me? How do I let go of someone I still care?

A copy of the email from our site visitor’s girlfriend

Hello how are you?

I called you twice just now but you did not answer the phone. Guess you were busy. I am spending my last night in Georgia now and will return to Chicago tomorrow late afternoon.

I wanted to talk to you because I want to let you know where I stand. I drove 12 hours back and forth to see you because I was emotional and desperate to have you back. It was an emotional impulsive act. I wanted to apologize for all the hurt and pain that I had caused you in the past and I wanted to be sincere about how sorry I am. I wanted to do that in person rather than a phonecall. And I apologize for taking up your time on that day as I knew you were busy.

You are a good person and I had done the worst thing to you by breaking up with you. But since then, I had changed.

So what I am trying to say is that I don’t want to beg and plead for us to get back together. I don’t want to guess if you will change your mind. I don’t want to repeat over and over again just to convince you to get back together with me. I don’t want to call and start crying. I know we love and care for each other and that’s why I wanted for us to try again. If you don’t want to get back together because you cannot trust me anymore based on my past behavior and decisions, that is fine with me. I cannot change my mistakes because it was already in the past. I regret them but I cannot change them. I am not perfect and I did make mistakes and bad decisions in the past. And I am sure I will continue to make mistakes in the future because I am only human. I am not afraid to fall because I want and like to build my emotional and mental muscles with each fall.

So this is basically where I stand right now. It is best for me to say all these to you in an email. I don’t want to keep calling you. I am too old to go around in emotional circles and cycles. And I certainly don’t want to put myself in a compromising position. So whatever you decide, that is fine with me. I love you and care about you.

All the best to you.

Share Your Thoughts or Opinions

We appreciate comments from our readers. Your comment will help our friend make a right decision.

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Sometimes having someone right after a bad break-up can help you move on pretty quickly

jandi — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 02:39:46 +0000

It is normal to look for a perfect lesbian relationship. We all dream of having one. We want our relationship with our parents, brothers and sisters to be as perfect as it can be. We all want to have a perfect relationship with the rest of our family members, friends and colleagues at work. More importantly, we want to have a perfect lesbian relationship with our partners. But, sometimes, life is unpredictable. There are things in life that you can’t control.

When bad things happen in our lesbian relationship, we wish for better things to happen in exchange of the bad. But that is how life is.

Breaking-up with a Lesbian Partner

Breaking up with your lesbian partner is a very painful process especially when both of you are pretty close to each other. Where both partners do all things together, moving on would be a struggle. When hearts are wounded and nowhere cure can be found, the only way out is to break it up. The healing process can take weeks, months and even years. There is no shortcut. Memories will linger that will make your heart suffer in pain. The process of healing is a long and winding road. You can breathe but you can’t eat. While you can eat, you may not be able to sleep or you can’t do both.

It’s part of the healing process where a broken heart will feel as if it is the end of the world. Sometimes you will feel that the world is against you. No matter how you try to pick yourself up from the mess, you stumble and fall. But, one thing is pretty sure — that you have to pick yourself up again and move on.

One way of moving on is to have someone right after a lesbian break-up. Entertaining someone new may not be a bad idea at all because sometimes it may help you move on faster. Some would say it is a bad idea as your broken heart could only feel a rebound of a past relationship. While it may not be simple to enter a new lesbian relationship after a bad break-up, it’s all about reconditioning your mind. Condition your mind and set it free so you can enter a new chapter in your lesbian life.

The Beneficial Effects of Having Someone After a Bad Lesbian Relationship Break-up

You will have someone you can relate to,
You will have someone who can fulfill your needs and wants,
You will have someone who will understand you and for what you’ve been through,
You will have someone who you can turn to,
You will have someone who cares about you,
You will have someone to go out to,
You will have someone to talk to,
You will have someone to inspire you,
You will have someone to motivate you,
You will have someone to snuggle and smooch to,
You will have someone who can help you bring up the pieces for you, and above all,
You will have someone who will love you and who you can love too.

It’s no easy task to get over a lesbian relationship but with the help of someone who cares so much about you, nothing is impossible. Let someone help you move on quick if there is one. It helps!

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How to get over a lesbian relationship

jandi — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 04:09:28 +0000

Getting over a lesbian relationship is a painful process. Anyone who has gone through an unsuccessful lesbian relationship can attest to the fact that the ordeal can be devastating.

But — life has to go on and you have to move on!

Here are tips to help you through if you are trying to pick yourself up from a broken lesbian relationship:

1. Get up and take a hot shower. It is refreshing and you get to think things through while you make bubbles in the tub.

2. Exercise. Get that blood circulation great as it used to be. It helps diminish if not eradicate stress, depression or boredom.

3. Talk to friends. Sometimes sharing can ease the pain. A word of caution, however. Talk only to someone you can trust if you don’t want to spill the beans. Are you out? Then it’s fine.

4. Open your window. Let the sunshine in. It helps draw positive energy.

5. Go places. If you can afford, take a long vacation. Go places you’ve always imagined visiting.

6. Volunteer. Instead of making your life miserable in your room, why not volunteer your time to something that helps the community you are in? Not only will it boost your network of friends but, as always, you are doing something that money can’t buy. A different kind of happiness when you do something good for others.

7. Upgrade your skills. Maybe it’s right time for you to upgrade your skills so you can catch up with the rest. It not only helps you forget what you are going through but it is also good for your resume. In a sense, you are also fattening your wallet.

8. Entertain new admirers. While this may not be an advisable tip to take, it sometimes help forget a past. But helping yourself through this route may do you only harm than good. But take it slowly with caution. Remember, you’re are still on the healing stage.

Why make your life miserable just because of one person when there are a lot of searching souls out there. Live a better life and the rest will follow.

If you have tips to share, other than the above, share it to help others. Thank you!

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