Research has shown that heavy and long-term drinking of alcohol damages your heart. On the flip side, research has shown that moderate drinking may have health benefits for your heart. But, what if the benefit is more than what health matter? Below is a type of situation where the effect of alcohol makes the heart fall for someone. Can alcohol be to blame?
My best friend and I have an amazing friendship. We met in high school lost touch and reconnected five years ago. Ever since we are inseparable. We are both girls in our late 20’s, and we both consider ourselves straight.
We have always said that we will be each others’ maid of honor. I have only had relationships with guys. I have never been interested romantically in another girl or pictured myself in a relationship with a girl. I know she experimented once with a girl, they kissed and fooled around. It was a one time thing. She has never been in a relationship with a girl either. My best friend is into guys. She is the type of girl to always have a boyfriend and be in a relationship.
We took a beach trip 3 years ago. There was a lot of alcohol involved. She kissed me one day. It was just a pop kiss. It caught me by surprise but I enjoyed it. Later on that day after drinking some more, we kissed and fooled around a little. We never spoke about it at the time. Instead we chose to blame it on the alcohol and act like we didn’t “remember” what happened.
About a month ago we were at a bar celebrating our friend’s birthday. We got wasted and somehow in the middle of the birthday party had a serious talk where my best friend told me that I don’t feel the same way she does for me. She brought up our beach trip and said that we never spoke about what happened and that I didn’t seem interested. She also said that she has been trying for two years. One thing led to another and we ended up hooking up that night.
The following day we never spoke about it. She texted me saying that she had way too much to drink and didn’t remember the night. This confused me even more. I had no idea what she felt. Was it the alcohol talking or does she really like me?
A week later, we went out with friends and again got drunk. This time I was the one who initiated a kiss, which was very surprising for me because she is usually the one to initiate. I am afraid of rejection. My best friend is too. At first she held back a little but we ended up kissing. Later that night we spoke briefly about hooking up. We couldn’t really talk because all of our friends were around. She did tell me that “this will be for fun.” We agreed to keep it our secret. We didn’t end up hooking up that night. And again we never spoke about any of this.
The following week, I went to Vegas with friends for a weekend. Ever since I got back we hadn’t spoken. Not even text. I know she gets jealous when I hang out with other friends. I was afraid that she felt weird and uncomfortable by me. I saw her on Friday at our friend’s party. I was a bit distant at first. I didn’t know how to act because I am unsure of what is going through her mind. At the end of the night she told me she missed me and popped kissed me.
I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what I’m feeling. Does she like me? Or does she just want to hookup with me? I find myself thinking about her all the time now. I want to spend more time with her. I have never felt this way for another girl.
This is a bad situation. She has a boyfriend. They have been together for a year and also live together. At the end of the day I know she will choose him over me if she ever had to make a choice. If anyone is going to get hurt that person is me. Why did she even tell me that she has some sort of feelings for me? Why bring it up now?
Has anyone experienced a situation similar to mine? Any advice is welcomed since I don’t have anyone to talk to about this situation.
Thank you for listening!