Does first love really never die? Or, can you find the love that you once had that was lost?
There is a favorite saying that goes:
“If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don’t, there love was never yours to begin with…”
In other words, if you love someone set her free. Give her the freedom she wants. Avoid being the controlling type. Let her manage her own life. That is how you want your life too, right? All of us need our own space and time for ourselves. Same thing with relationships. The secret to a long lasting relationship is keeping the friendship alive.
Love is a feeling that needs care and devotion. You need to devote time and effort. You need to keep the love alive. Keep the line of communication open. Talk less and listen more. When your wife or partner talks, she expects you to listen. Isn’t it that when you talk , you want the other person to listen to you too? Let the person with the issue at hand talk her heart out while you listen. Once she’s done, then you can start talking. Isn’t it good to see the person you care and love relieved of her tensions when you let her talk while you listen?
A friend was married for 15 years and she was blessed with 3 kids. They were a very happy couple in the early stage of their married life. They were able to build a home and send their kids to school.
The Set Up
With no one to take care of the kids and while the husband is out of work, the husband accepted the arrangement that he will be left behind to take care of the kids. The wife works for a living. As the kids grow older so are the living expenses of the family. The wife was forced to look for a high paying job. She found one, but at another city. She goes home often to visit the family whenever time allows. Few months later, she found out that while she was out working the husband was having an affair and was dating with another woman. It turned out that the husband’s other woman was their newly hired house help. Keeping a blind eye of what she has witnessed, the wife continued to make her way to bring good tidings to the family.
There was betrayal. She was betrayed. She was badly hurt. Because of love for the family she accepted her husband’s mistake and moved on with life. Years passed, the jobless husband continued to be dependent on his wife and also continued with his affair. He stays home while the wife works to bring food on the table.
She was totally okay with what she was doing. She love working. One day, her best friend told her that she saw her husband with yet another woman. She didn’t believe the story. After all, she love her husband. He was her first love. One day she went home without letting the family know she’s coming. When she arrives, she saw her husband flirting with the woman in the comfort of their own room. It was the saddest moment of her life. She was completely devastated.
The couple’s line of communication was closed. The wife admits that there was no open communication between her and her husband. When she comes home from work, she’s tired. She doesn’t have time to listen to her husband. She’s always busy.
The husband admits that he was not happy with how things are going with their relationship. The wife was always busy at work while he is left to take care of the kids.
Who is to blame?
Is it the wife? Or, the husband?
Can the relationship be saved?
From the wife’s standpoint, it is irreparable. The love that she once had for her husband was totally gone when he betrayed her twice. She explains that one is enough but two is too much.
The husband, on the other hand, points out the shortcomings of the wife. Where is she when he needed him the most?
Can you blame the wife? She works for a living. The wife finds it hard to keep up with the family’s living expenses if she gets a job at the local area.
Share your thoughts.