My Apologies for Not Being Around for Sometime … I am so emotionally ruined.
My friends here at y-woo — thank you for being a part of this site. Your following means a whole lot to me.
My apologies too for not being around here for sometime now. It’s a long story, but I will tell you a bit nonetheless. My girlfriend of five years broke up with me on Memorial Day when we were vacationing with friends. I was totally devastated upon hearing the words “were over.”
She is 15 years older than me but I love her to death despite our age gap. She was the one who hit upon me sometime in June of 2011. I found something interesting on her and so we hit it off. I moved in with her and we lived happily together until sometime in May of this year when she starts to get cold on me. I later found out that she was talking to a guy who befriend her on Facebook. I asked her why she entertained someone when we were still together and her answer was “were over.” I also found out that five other guys were emailing her and all she said to them was that she is single and not with someone else. It was hurting to know that the woman you truly love can do this to you — not telling the truth and cheating on you. She gets mad easily each time I ask her a question. She would raise her voice and start a fight. She would lie and come up with good alibis just to cover up the guy she was talking to. I am a cool person and I just can’t understand why she did what she did when I was everything for her before she started talking to this guy. A guy that she didn’t even meet in person. As I was worried then I did my own research on the guy and I found out that he was stealing pictures from an EU politician and posted it as his own to attract women he can dupe with. My ex ended up sending money to this guy and I am pretty sure she got scammed. The hard part is when she confessed to our group of friends the reason why she broke up with me was that she would like to serve the Church. Our friends didn’t know the real reason but I did not tell them anyway because I don’t want my ex to lose her friends.
I am trying to win her back, but she said she doesn’t want to anymore. I found out that she is still yearning to talk to the scammer.
Any suggestion you can give me on what to do with what I am dealing with right now will be much appreciated. I am here not giving an advice but seeking your own. I love her so dearly that I don’t want to lose her but it hurts to know that the woman you love loved someone else. It is more hurting when you know that the one she loves is scamming her of her hard-earned money and just playing with her emotion.
Thank you.
About The Author
jandi
Jandi is a soft butch. She's been into three failed lesbian relationships with straight women, but now is in a happy relationship with the woman of her dreams. From her experiences, she learned that: 1. the hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else; 2. never beg for a relationship. be brave to accept the one who really wants to be with you and reject the one who pretends to be with you; 3. if you want to be together, you have to-get-her; 4. your peace is more important that driving yourself crazy trying to understand why something happened the way it did... the art of letting go; 5. if someone seriously wants to be a part of your life, they will seriously make an effort to be in it; 6. people think that the most painful thing in life is losing the one you value, but the truth is, the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of valuing someone too much and forgetting that you are special too.
hey..sorry for what happened to your relationship :/
quick questions, did she ever behave like this before? lying and giving attention to strangers
if the answer is no, then, she probably has changed. or, as ridiculous as it may sound, the ‘stranger’ did some black magic to her, happened to my best friend’s sister.
if the answer is yes, then she’s just not worth it and i suggest you to find a replacement. it wont be easy, but you have to do what’s best for you.
- July 20, 2016@night-lullaby – thanks and really appreciate your thoughts. this is the first time she lied and gave her full attention to a stranger. did some research and conducted own investigation and found out the guy was a nigerian romance scammer based in malaysia. she just realized she made the biggest mistake of her life and apologized for what she did. she however already ruined a beautiful relationship so it’s the biggest question now whether to keep her or not. it’s hard to trust her again much less respect her for what she did. if it was a real person she’s talking with she will leave anyway without looking back. she wants the relationship back but there is already some fear if she will do it again. maybe it’s time to move on and find a better and loving woman.
- August 13, 2016I’m so sorry that this has happened. I know that this can’t be easy and I can understand that this must be very difficult. It’s important to remember that right now– self-care and self-love is 100% needed. Use this time to heal yourself. Focus on your goals and passions in life. Establish healthy boundaries with others and yourself, and build your sense of self. Cultivate this pain into creative art maybe, so you can express yourself. It’s going to be important to express all of these feelings. If it’s possible, maybe try talking to a trusted loved one, or a therapist. The healing process will take time, but I know you will get through this. <3
Regarding the scammer, did you tell your ex-girlfriend what was going on? If you have evidence, record that, and give it to her. Contact the police or officials. But after that, know that this is all that you can do and take a step back. She doesn't sounds like a stable, healthy person, so my suggestion would be to take a step back and distance yourself from her. Meaning, go No Contact– block her on social media, limit contact with her in real life as well.
Understand that none of this was your fault. Also understand that you deserve better. Relationships are about trust, loyalty, understanding, and commitment. Find someone that cherishes you and these values. You are so worth it. <3
- September 24, 2017@ nikki clara – thanks for your thoughts. you are right – i did everything I can think of just to keep going. i am much better now, thank heavens. i’ve let go of the pain — there is nothing much you can do with it. i’ve moved on and in mutual understanding with a woman who loves and accepts me unconditionally. time heals all wounds and i’ve come to realize that someone who doesn’t deserve your love, doesn’t deserve a second chance. it’s hard give your trust to someone who has betrayed you. once a cheater is always a cheater.
- September 26, 2017I sent you an email before. I think I can help you out. Really. I don’t want to see a star like you die out because of what a greedy man did to your lover. Most importantly of all, I can think of many, many lesbian women who also can unite to help you too. I think they will for sure when they see your old posts. I sent that email and didn’t realize that 2 years ago this website was left to rot by, well, a single man. And that’s not fair. The reason why I say I can fix this is because I KNOW i can. I survived abusive parents. I am transgender, along with being lesbian, and having an Indian ethnicity. Additionally, I have ADHD. I’ve almost committed suicide twice.
I know I can help. Please, just send what you can to me.
I need you to know I’m there for you. For now and for whenever you need.
- December 8, 2018And that there are other lesbian women out there who still need your amazing advice. Me being one of them.
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