How to seduce a straight woman
How to seduce a straight woman is the most common question faced by lesbians who fall in love and want to build a relationship with a straight woman. The desire to seduce a straight woman should come natural and done in a more subtle way. If the attraction is very strong, the lesbian love can become irresistible. One can hardly explain its meaning whenever it strikes a lonely heart. It is hard to resist and hard to control if the dictates of the heart is pulling you apart.
Most if not all lesbians will do everything in their power just to get the woman of their dreams. But, unlike men, lesbians strategies are more subtle.
How to seduce a straight woman?
Below are some tips that are proven helpful in seducing a straight woman. However, be sure to befriend the straight woman first. You can do so by striking a conversation. For example, while you are both on board a train or waiting for a bus or train. The trip or the waiting time could end up both of you exchanging emails or phone numbers. The rest will be history and then you can start the following:
1. Invite her for dinner. Lesbians mostly invite girls for a night out, dinner or parties. It is because after dark moments help ignite the will power of lesbians.
2. Watch movie together. The darkness in theaters are proven to be romantic. It helps lesbians get a better chance at starting an intimate discussion. If you are a lesbian and you want to take this route, make sure you are seated beside each other. Strike a conversation by whispering words in her ear. Stay close to her as you can during the whole conversation. You don’t want to disturb the other people in the theater anyway. She might get a hint. If she tries to stay away from you, that’s a bad sign. However, it could be a good sign if she remains in the same position while you both are whispering on each others’ ears. While talking try to keep your arm close to hers and then slowly slide your hands into hers. At this stage, try to get some idea if your actions are well taken. If it is, that’s another good sign. She may be hesitant at first to take your hands but if she does nothing you’re in for a good fight.
3. Invite her at home. Seducing a straight woman is a bit easy if she gets to know you better. By inviting her at your home, she will get an idea of who you truly are. While at home, you can prepare food for her or better still watch your favorite lesbian movie with her. She may not like the idea at first but chances are her curiosity will drive her to finish the whole lesbian movie. By then, she will also get an idea of who you are and this is where you can start the conversation. Tell her why you’re showing her the movie and explain your situation. The rest is up to you, but make sure you don’t go overboard or you’ll ruin the whole conversation. Take it easy and for sure you will get her sympathy.
4. Surprise her with flowers. Women love flowers. Surprise her with a buquet of fresh flowers but you should do a little bit of research first as to what kind of flowers she likes.
5. Buy her chocolates and other gifts. Lesbians who really like a person know how and what to give a person. Do some research about what she likes and dislikes. To fulfill your mission you must be very good at what you are doing. Start with inexpensive gifts as you are still in the application stage. Besides, if things gets rough on the way then at least it will not be heavy on your pocket.
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Tags: Lesbian Love
OK. I read most of your articles but this is the one that interested me the most. I need some advices here . I can’t send her flowers ,invite her for dinner or sth because it will look weird(i must say i am not known as a lesbian , i am just a girl who was confused about liking girls until i met Her, now i am sure i like girls). I meet her once in a week and i can say that i ‘m truly madly deeply in love with her. I like her eyes, her voice(even she has a strong voice) and above all i love her moves.
I never had the chance to meet her in privat, so we didn’t have privacy.We are o group of girls and we meet every week to play one of my fav sports and we go to restaurant. i’ve always sit close to her.We often talk and i think she likes me too (but i guess ,as a friend). I also have some hesitations here(her eyes sparkle when she look at me sometimes , despite she has boyfriend).
So, my question? what should i do to make her known my feelings in a way that she could accept.
Help me please…
Thank you!
@ Sophi,
Continue the friendship. Start a conversation whenever you have a chance. Patience is a virtue. Don’t rush. Everything starts with friendship so keep it that way. As your friendship grows you can invite her for a movie or dinner.
Hi there!
Well, I am getting to know a girl who I feel very attracted to but I don’t know if she is interested or not or een if she likes girls too. We met at a pub and came home on the same bus, then exchabged e-mails, chatted a bit and went out a second time. She stared me a lot, talked about herself, liked when I gave her a mix cd, we read poetry together…. we had a great time but since then she has been a bit cold towards me through messages we have exchanged online.
i don’t know if i can make a move or ask her aot again or if I should be strightforward. I guess she noticed I am a dyke though…
How can I keep in contact without being too pushy? Should I wait until she gets in touch or be insistent?
Thanks for the great posts.
@ barefoot – keep in touch without being pushy. there’s nothing wrong with saying “hi” once in a while. let the friendship blossom first before going forward or else you’ll run the risk of losing her. Strike an interesting conversation or crack a joke that will make her laugh. if you can do it, you’re in for a good start.
Hi!
Like everyone else, I also have a question.
Here goes: I’ve known this girl for more than half a year, we meet two or three times a week to play board games with other friends. She knows I’m a lesbian, and I know she is not. After every session, we send each other good night text messages, poems, etc. We regularly flirt, and I think she likes me (I’m mad about her), but I don’t know how to make the first move, or even if I should. Whenever she has an opportunity she touches my hand, my neck, or leans over me to get something. All this is way too confusing. Thank you in advance.
@confused – She likes you. Return the touch with a touch if no one is watching and see if she will react. A withdrawal is bad otherwise you’re good. Or end your good night message with “Should I say this to you or just let it go”? then take it from there. If she’ll insist for an answer tell her you like her. The fact that she knows you’re a lesbian will probably make her understand what is going on. Explain from what is in your heart.
Hi, okay so I am madly, deeply in love with this woman (both in our 30s). We spend hours at a time together and it’s obvious we love being in each other’s company. We smile at each other, I subtly touch her arms and legs when we’re talking. She has opened up to me about very personal things in her life, so I know she completely trusts me. She’s not a lesbian, but I feel something so strong between us. She is a new age type and I know she feels a strong connection with me as well. Now, here is where things get complicated. When I saw this woman last she told me she had strong love feelings for this man whom she met many months ago but hasn’t seen since. She had a strong sensation when she met him, but they haven’t talked outside this one time and she doesn’t actually know him, know him. (Fyi, we have only started to be really close friends in the past 1-2 months.) We talked about it and I (as hard as it was) gave her some advice. I told her I once had strong feelings for someone, told them and it wasn’t recipricated. She asked more about this man or woman (as she said)…and I didn’t say it was a woman, I just kept saying “this person”. So I think she may have gotten the hint? So, that night I sent her an email saying what an incredible person she is and how I like being with her. So, she sent back an email that simply said “I love you too.” Hmmm, what does this mean??? As a friend, she loves my personality, as a lover, what? I sent her an email the next morning that said “I’m still smiling about your email” and she then replied “keep smiling”. Hmmm? I have seen her a few quick times in public since and each time she has extended arms as a hug. We saw each other quickly again this morning and she moved her arm to me, I hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. Tomorrow we are seeing each other for one of our long alone days together…to me these are like dates – 5 or 6 hours of walking through the park, having lunch and talking. I wonder if, when we hug upon seeing each other if I should do what I want which is pull her in for a full kiss? Or wait? Or talk things with her? Or not? I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I absolutely do want to take it to the next level! I am so confused…this would all be a lot clearer if she hadn’t brought up her feelings about this random man! Please, can you offer some insight?
@LoveStruck – Understand how you feel but there is no way of knowing how she feels about you unless you sit down and talk to her. Her email response may just be a friendly one or it may be that she’s flirting with you. This could be the case if she is aware you’re gay. If not, she may just be teasing you.
Don’t ruin the beautiful friendship you have with this woman by being too aggressive. Instead, set a date with her in private and express your feelings. Make sure she’s in a good mood or you’ll ruin everything.
You may also want to try something that’s proven to work out in cases like this b/c sometimes a woman can easily be swayed by the gesture of another person ( woman or man). However, it all depends on how good you are in doing it. Feel the moment and follow your instinct but be cautious not to go overboard.
I’m sorry but these kinds of articles are the stupidest stuff I’ve ever read. The mistake is lesbians who make a mission out of getting a straight woman with all these strategies, and doing all the things like candy and flowers that men usually do with women. Whatever happened to just being yourself and being in the moment, a conversation or whatever. What ever happened to just letting someone indicate their interest in you on their own? What is all the jockeying and positioning going on here. These are the reasons that most lesbians seem kind of immature in general–all these junior high antics–just be yourself and behave as you would with anybody you like. You’ll know if something else is going to happen without the secret handshake and decoder ring.
Merry Christmas all.
I am sooooo with Telly on this one. As a gay woman who has definitely been with my share of straight women, it is absolutely absurd to strategize and position yourself for some sort of “conquer.” It’s unbelievably high schoolish and sophomoric. I never made these straight women my conquests; I just simply vibed with them and vice versa. The only strategy you should have is to be more charismatic, but let it come from a genuine place. Women are very intuitive people and they will gravitate more toward you if you’re light-hearted, good-natured and charismatic, whether they’re straight, gay, bi or a goat. You’ll have more of a chance with any kind of woman if you are genuinely interested in her – the world is full of interesting, unique people; the key ingredient is to forget yourself.
Many lesbians would agree with you. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
Hi. I’m in a very sticky situation. IT’s been 9 months I like this woman. I think she is straight. She is my teacher, but there is not much age difference. I no longer have her class, but she knows that I like her. When she found out that I like her, she started to make less eye contact. After the summer, she acts like nothing happened and this made me confuse and upset. I acted like she does not exist and she got offended. Still, she is trying to be nice to me. My heart keeps bitting every time I see her and I have been sleepless for last 5 months. I could not sleep last night too. I have never been like this in my entire life. Only she has the key end all this. Recently, I noticed that she is staring at me a lot. She always pretends she is busy, but when I’m talking to my friends in the hallway she always stares at me and listens to my conversation. One time, I was walking toward her and she suddenly stops and looks at me hesitating….
My question is since this woman knows how I feel, is it possible to build friendship? I’m not sure if sit down talk will help. I don’t have courage to do that and I’m not sure if she will give me a chance to say anything. What should I do? Please help. I have not much time.
@heewy – You are in love and it’s not bad. Anyone who has fallen in love experienced that way–many sleepless nights and butterflies in the stomach. Don’t compromise your health. Let not only your feelings be known but show her you are serious about her. Have the courage to do so. While it may be hard, keep in mind that the only way you will know how the other person feel towards you is by talking it out to her directly. Her actions may speak louder than words but her actions may mean other things. Why not invite her for a cup of coffee? Or perhaps invite her to watch a movie? There are a lot of good movies showing right now. You can start out as friends. Yes, it is possible to build friendship. Why not? The situation is in your favor why not take advantage of it? Say hi! and everything else will follow. Just be who you are!
I need a little advice for a sticky situation. I am currently coming to the concluscion of who I really am. I’ve never admitted my true self and am still hesitant to do so. I recently noticed my co-worker in a different manner, I had this strong feeling that she was into me, but I can’t say for sure. I invited her to my BBQ, she came in and was just the most amazing person in the room. I don’t know how she feels about me but when we talk she looks into my eyes and she doesn’t shy away. Maybe I’m wrong, but I get this very strong attraction for her, but I don’t want to act on it if she doesn’t feel the same way. What should I do?
@Celeste – Welcome! Understand it’s hard to admit reality. A lesbian who is in denial that she is a lesbian is like living a life without a purpose. It’s a good thing that you’ve come to realize your true identity. At first, you’ll feel bad about it but, what the heck, if you want to live life to the fullest, you got to embrace it.
Now, what should you do with this woman you are strongly attracted to? It’s unclear whether the woman you are attracted to is also a lesbian or straight. If she is obviously a lesbian (the butch or dike type) then why worry? It’s a plus factor. All you need to do is invite her again perhaps for another BBQ then who knows? Let the feelings flow. However, if you are unsure as to the woman’s sex preference then you might as well be very careful. Get to know her first, really well. Friends can be lovers. Only time can tell. Don’t rush or else you’ll spoil everything. Take it slow.
hi, i’m almost 14 & i’m starting to accept the fact that i’m bi. i’ve been having feelings for my best friend for a while now & i want to become more than that without telling her directly (or in any other way) that i’m bi. over the weekend i went to her house for a sleepover & i was trying to give her some hints. i sat really close to her on the couch & i sat on her lap a few times & when we were watching a movie i snuggled against her. we’re close but how do i get closer but still keep it private & safe?
@rikki — welcome! at such a young age, you are vulnerable to the dictates of your emotion. it is better to focus on studies first. love is like a poison that’s hard to get away with. would rather suggest to stay and remain as friends until such time that you are really ready to be emotionally wounded — just in case. but it’s a matter of choice. keep things slow. don’t ruin a friendship by being too aggressive just to get want you want asap. remember, friends can be enemies when things get rough. enjoy each moment spent with your friend and keep it that way. sooner or later emotions will show you how to get through her. strong bonding comes from strong friendship. let that tree of friendship grow and everything will follow.
Hi…I am working in retail, while waiting to get my business off the ground. I am also slowly coming out of the closet. I met a gorgeously beautiful woman, who just happens to be my boss when it’s her time to work. I know she’s a divorcee and single mother to one child who is 13. She has a lot of qualities I like, and I realize this is a case of more than just wanting to “hit that.” Sure, I’d love to hook up, but I’d also like to date her. I’m interested in a straight woman, who’s divorced. We’ve talked, and I’m kind of confused as to whether there’s some type of connection, or is she just being nice. She has mentioned that when she’s dating someone, she’s with them…it was just us talking. Since we are members of the same gym, I told her if she wants to work out together, we could. I gave her my business card. But I also told her that the invite was open if she didn’t feel that it was fraternizing. She laughed…when I asked her what was so funny, she said “you…you’re silly…fraternizing.” There was a slight pause, and she then told me that she didn’t really consider it fraternizing…she mention that sometime ago, there was another co worker that she used to work out with…so she didn’t consider it fraternizing…
Yet, she hasn’t taken me up on the offer…I’ve run into her once in the gym…we talked a little…nothing awkward, but damn…I just don’t know what to do…I’m seriously crushin…Help me please…
@Raven — Coming out is good. You will be able to live life to the fullest. Courting a straight woman is hard though but quite a challenge. Straight women look at relationships as only between a man and a woman. While they understand the feelings of women loving women, it’s hard to get through them. You’ll have to get through the eye of the needle but the reward can be awesome. Apply the tips provided. If not, then just take it slowly. Let the friendship flourish first. As friendship grows, there is a tendency for both of you to be more open to each other. When that time comes, you may be able to express your feelings. Don’t dare show that you are being too aggressive, it may scare her — thereby losing her. Be creative in your approach. You’re the best person who can gauge how best to approach her. Perhaps, a set of fresh flowers this Valentines? It’s hearts day anyway.
im in abit of a sticky too…so i am bi. i would say more so lesbian butt i am married to the father of my son. so anyways i accepted who i truely am after, so my sistiation is that i have totally fallen for mysister in law. i am yet to fully come out. she is married and straight also but we always playy that were lesbians. idk if i should make a move or let it go? helpp! <3pixx
@pixiee – thanks for sharing. living life as a lesbian is quite hard and can be very complicated. you feel restless as you realize you’re not living the life you’ve always wanted. and the only way to feel much better about yourself and your situation is acceptance — accepting who you really are and for what you’ve become. enjoy your new identity, but don’t make lesbian affair complicate with family affair. if you let yourself fall for a member of the family, the end result will be hurt feelings within the family. can you afford to hurt your brother by having a lesbian affair with your sister in law? falling in love can be very exciting but think of what might happen. there is a saying that says, “if you can’t take the pain, don’t play the game.” don’t play the fire if you do not know how to contain it when things get rough. Besides, you both are already married. If at all, find someone who is single and not related to you.
Hi, I’m 23 years old. I have known I had feelings for girls a long time now and sometimes I just dont understand it. I even had a crush on several and sometimes its hard. There is 2 girls that interests me a lot these days. Sometimes I make sexual jokes and some laugh at it and some gets angry and those who laugh at my lesbian jokes it gives me a hint that she may be into girls…and they both wear lesbian hats i think … one watches girls movie…is that a sign she likes woman?. I asked her we should do something soon she said definatly soon. I think I have gaydar I seem to know when a woman is a lesbian or not. I dont know how I know but I know which is weird and confuses me. Sometimes girls ask me if I have a bf i said i had but not anymore. I am accepting myself but I keep this to myself some friends do know about it but not everyone . I dont know why girls seem to stare at me a lot… I went to a friends house a girl I know invited me this weekend and she has a bf and somehow she rubbed my feet with her feet she seem to be confortable she touches a lot but she has a man, and after dinner she kept staring into my eyes like she wasnt able to stop i kept looking at her like throw her an arrow lol and she kept looking at me, she said the gay word twice she used to work and help lesbian hiv and gays and she ask me if a guy on her facebook is gay i said i dont know…i was like she seem confortable with that… why is this complicated …i seem to know girls a lot now is it cuz im gettin good at finding out with my gaydar? I need help with the gaydar and signs I can figure out….lesbian love jokes
@someonewhoislost – Some people are good at identifying whether a woman is a lesbian or not. But, the best person who can really identify whether a woman is a lesbian or not is a lesbian herself. In other words, it is easier for a lesbian to identify her fellow lesbians. The reason being that lesbians have similar reactions when faced with beautiful women.
You definitely have a “gaydar” based on what you’ve said and that’s the reason why you find it easy to see if a woman is gay or not. Yes, it is hard when you are faced with a different feeling, which normally you wouldn’t have. It’s a choice you have to take. Feelings are controllable. It just takes discipline and determination. If not, acceptance is the key. It’s a matter of following where your heart goes or taking control of your emotion.
hey i’m falling in love with my bestfriend after we been friends for 2 yrs i’m not gay i just start feeling these crazy feelings for her it all start when she was crying on my shoulder while i was huggin her i plan to tell her i love her and can’t live without her on feb. 14 i just don’t know how to approach plz help im in love
@guest – Understand how you feel. Yes, it can make you crazy when you are in love. The best solution to get your problem resolved is to communicate your feelings. Please browse our article “How to tell your best friend you like her without losing the friendship.” It can give you great ideas on how to best handle your situation.
hi there,
I thought I am hetero till last saturday, there’s a girl who says she loves me for the past three years, I never encouraged her until now but last saturday she was sitting beside me and started playing footsie with me, I had an incredible turn on !!! no guy has been able to get me so high till now, I approached her later but now she says although she would let me do whatever I want, she is not physically attracted to me ! I can but don’t wanna force her. I concluded she is too scared to realize the truth and repressing her instincts and she agrees with my point, so what should I do ?
@Iamsoconfused – A person who says she loves someone loves everything about that person, including physical appearance. Sensed that she may just be flirting with you or may be afraid of long-term commitment. Either way, you can be playful to find out what she’s up to. If not, then the only way is to sit down and talk to her. If she says the same thing, then there’s no reason for you to be clinging with this girl. If you do, you may end up just hurting yourself, emotionally.
Hey Jandi:
Thanks for the info that you gave me about my boss…To bring you up-to-date, I didn’t bring her flowers on V-day, but I did a pen & Ink drawing for her birthday that she says she loves…& she gave me a big hug…she has been more talkative as of late, but I need some more info…she has my phone #, and has even put it in her phone, but still haven’t heard from her…what do I do next…
Hi there…I sent you an email 2/22/2010…I wanted to see if I’m going to get an answer to my question…
Raven
@Raven — been very busy. be patient and don’t rush anything or else you will scare the other person. perhaps she lost her phone, accidentally deleted your number, or maybe she’s too busy. by being too aggressive you may end up scaring her. try to learn from the mistakes of others. be patient. maybe it’s not the right time. why not call her and say hi if you have her number.. in that way you will know what is going on. remember, don’t go overboard or you risk of losing everything you worked for.
Thank you for your articles, after reading the questions, I was inspired to write one myself.
3 years ago, at my old job, I met a married woman who worked with me. We became friends, and I told her I was gay… she seemed a little uncomfortable at first, but then she came on strong. She was very verbal about how sexy she thought I was, even around other co workers and we started hanging out more and more outside of work. We really started to discover how much we actually “clicked” and she would make remarks like “This is too weird… if thats true I will get a divorce tomorrow, haha” and also saying that she thinks she might be gay too. Eventually, we kissed, but she started to freak out and everyday she felt different for me. She was so romantic and spiritual and loving one moment and cold and just friends the next. No matter how much fun we had and how much she enjoyed kissing and exploring with me, she was more and more scared and made it clear she really couldnt get a divorce. She has no kids with him by the way, and she rarely has sex with him. Finally, I had to break things off because I was falling in love HARD. That night, she cried like never before, and she confessed that she wouldnt have chosen to be married, that she would have wanted to be with me instead. I let her go, but we later became friends again. Now I am in a relationship with someone else, and I still find myself thinking about her. She flirts with me and says things to me, but its not like before… she was very hurt that I “broke up” with her. Did I ruin all chances of being with her? I can tell she still has feelings for me, but she denys them and says she is “straight”. Yet, she gets jealous of my GF, and makes comments that really make me wonder if she is just afraid of being gay.
@ moonGoddess – You are welcome and thanks for sharing your lesbian experience. Lesbians have different lesbian experiences and yours is one that is unique in its own special way. Understand how sometimes we wonder if we ruin a particular relationship that we thought is perfect for us. However, there are times when we have to move on with our lesbian lives when the woman we are crazy about does not even make an effort to make the relationship go forward. Yes, she could be gay or straight but that is not the point. The point is she did not make an effort which is what lesbians look for in a lesbian partner. If she is afraid of coming out, it may later on cause problems in the relationship. It’s better to be on the safe side and get out in that kind of relationship early on rather than face heartaches later in your life. Yes, jealousy is a sign of love and so if she gets jealous with your current girlfriend then she may be into you. She perhaps regrets the opportunity of having you.