Signs of Lesbian Attraction or Flirting
Lesbians‘ feeling towards women are just like how men feel towards women. Lesbians are attracted or most likely will flirt with women who they find attractive by their own standards. While lesbians differ in standards, they are mostly attracted to pretty and gorgeous women. Some would go for brains.
Lesbians are attracted and will start flirting with a woman who they find they have a strong feeling or connection with. The attraction is not because the woman has a nice butt, but it is something they feel towards the other person. A feeling of wanting to spend a lot of time with the other person that she finds different from all the rest of the girls.
So, how can you tell if a lesbian is attracted to you? There are many ways to tell if a lesbian is attracted to you.
When a lesbian feels strongly towards a woman, her actions become obvious. Her eyes sparkle.
The human eye functions like the lens of a camera. It dilates the pupil to allow more light into the eye; constricting the pupil to allow less light into the eye. When more light is allowed into it, then the eye will give a sparkling effect. A woman’s eye pupils tend to dilate when viewing an object of desire, allowing more light into the eye so that she can see more of her desired object.
To know if someone is trying to flirt with you can be tricky. Flirting is an art. It is a two-way process. It can be subtle or overt.
Here are some subtle signs of flirting:
1. When you are out together, she may try sitting close to you. Try to observe if she moves closer or farther away.
2. When you are sitting on a couch and your thighs touch, does she let it stay or inch away?
3. She will open the door for you to walk through.
4. She will say nice things about you.
5. She can’t get off her eyes on you.
Ok I have a problem, first of all…Im completely in love with my best friend. I have been friends with her for only 7 months, we are the same age, 18 an im crazy about her. Here’s the other issue…she has a boyfriend, but he lives half way across the country now and she is completely in love with him, they have been together for 2 yrs now. But she has mentioned to me and her other friends that she has considered being a lesbian before, and will “switch teams” if her and her bf break up. She is very sweet and open minded. Ok, now I have very poor gaydar, so maybe someone can tell me if she is flirting with me here: I often catch her staring at me, and she does it a lot more than she does to anyone else, including her other friends, when our eyes meet, sumtimes she looks away, but most of the time she will keep on staring and we will be staring at each other so long people start to look at us. When I stay the night at her house, or she stays the night at mine, she is very touchy, feely with me. And she doesn’t act the same, she gets very close to me an its extremely hard for me to handle being that close to her. She can go as far as almost kissing me sometimes, and the line between friendly and flirty gets very cloudy for me by that point. She plays with my hair a lot, i dont ever see her play with anyone else’s and the when she looks at me, there is always this “sparkle” in her eyes, and they get real big. She always lays her head down on my shoulder, and if I ever walk away from her or go sit somewhere else she will be staring at me or she will come and sit back by me, and of course she is my best friend so some of that never really seemed strange to me. but I dont think it is normal for your best friend to stare at you for no reason for more than 30 whole seconds. And when I ask her “what” after she has stared at me long enough, she just simply replies “nuthing” and then sometimes she will stop staring. She has written a note to me stating that she loves me very much, and that I am her rock when things are bad for her, i dnt know if she has told anyone else this besides her boyfriend. And I have met and talked to her bf before, he says that she talks about me all the time, and probably more than she talks about him. He thinks that if she were a lesbian she would ask me out. Or at least that what he thinks. Idk what to think of any of this, i dont know if it is just her being excessively friendly to me, and jus realizing that im a good friend to her, i know she doesnt want to lose me, and i cant even bare the thought of losing her as a friend. Im afraid to say anything about it cuz i doubt she has the same feelings for me that i have for her. And I DO NOT want to hurt her by ending our friendship. But im also afraid of asking, becuz im scared she wont tell me the truth. Bcuz she has a bf, she is very loyal to him, and i doubt i could get anywhere with her, she is too in love with him, to be with me. Or at least thats what i believe. I need some seriously helpful information from anyone who has been in this kinda situation before, and even if u havent….PLEASE HELP ME! Im sooo confused and it is tearing me apart to even be in the same room as her an not be able to be with her the way i want to, I want her to know how i feel and i want to kno how she feels about me, truely without bringing our friendship to a screeching halt
-brandi
@ brandi – you will never know how one feels towards you unless you ask her. experience tells me that. ask her in a nice and kindest way. good luck!
Okay, so let me start off by saying that in terms of figuring out who I am attracted to, it is very confusing….I mean I knew that I was attracted to girls since my Freshman year of high school….but I had boyfriends too and all the girls I liked were straight….and the girl that I started crushing on this year seemed to be the exception to the rule. We’ve been friends since Freshman year of college, but we really started getting close this year.
Well, during the beginning of my winter term, I decided to have a couple of friends over for drinks and Glee. While we watching Glee and drinking she decided to lay on me, no big deal I went to an all girl high school..I’m totally used to it, but then my room mate started to feel sick because she mixed medication with alcohol so I rightfully started freaking out. Every time my room mate would go near the near the bathroom I would start to get up, but this girl “Jane”, would run her hand up and down my thigh saying “It’s going to be okay.” So, after my room mate felt better, she ended up leaving then she sent me a text saying “Good Night, Pretty.” I chalked it up to drunken shenanigans, However, the next morning she saw me on Facebook chat and the fist thing she said was “Good Morning, Pretty.” We talked for a little bit and then had to do homework and nothing happened for a couple of days. Then while I’m in class, she texts me asking if I want to hang out so I jump at the chance, run to my apartment and find the cutest outfit I owned to wear. I figured that the way she dressed would determine what she thought this was. So, she comes over with make up on (which she never wears) and her hair straight (which she never does) and she looked….so fucking gorgeous I couldn’t stand it. We started watching a movie and started playing around with a stuffed animal that my room mate gave me for Christmas, but she didn’t sit really close to me or anything.
A couple of days later, we hang out again at a friends house for a movie night (there were a whole bunch of us) and she invited me to her room to try some amazing cookie that she had when she was in Australia because her friend had sent her some. So, I went down there for what was supposed to be five minutes and I ended up staying the night because we talked for so long….til like 4 AM about really deep dark stuff. Two weeks after that we were at my apartment again for Glee night and I had just found out my Grandfather started dating again three months after my Grandmother died so I got completely trashed and started crying. She asked me what was wrong and started wiping my tears and running her hand up and down my arm because we were laying on the couch facing each other. I told her about my Grandpa and she said, “He still loves her.” I looked at her and said, “You don’t love me.” She said, “I love you as a friend.” She told me that she wished she could be that person for me, but she just can’t because she’s not into girls……but last weekend we had Round II of the girls night party where I cried all over her and my friend Gretchen told me that the girl I liked had been flirting me with me all night that we have chemistry. After everyone had left, it was just me and her in her apartment and she wanted to walk me home, but I wanted to stay over because my room mate and I had a fight. She said that she didn’t want me to stay, “Because she didn’t want to lead me on.” Then she told me that I’m gorgeous, that I look like a model. She put makeup on me and wanted to take pictures of me, but I wouldn’t let her. I ended up staying over sleeping in her room mates bed and then I woke up and watched Grey’s Anatomy on the couch with her. When she looked at me….electricity shot through my body….just from one look.
Then right before we all went home for Spring Break she asked me if I would go shopping with her to get things for a spring training trip that she was going on. When we were walking to CVS (which is right off campus) she picked up a rose from the snow and gave it to me. I recognized the rose from a bouquet of flowers that her boyfriend gave her (but…she won’t call him her boyfriend out loud) and I tried to tell her all of these things that she could do to save the flower because she was sad that she had thrown them away in the first place, but she still wanted me to have the flower, and even though I wanted to take it, I was still trying to be supportive so she ended up putting it back in the snow. Then one of my other friends joined us on a trip to Walmart where my friend picked up a fake rose and offered it to me for a kiss on the cheek. I had no problem with it because I knew she was just playing with me, but when I went up to kiss her on the cheek, “Jane” was staring at my other friend like “back off” apparently.
I don’t understand what is going on.
@sara – It is indeed very confusing when you are still in your teenage years. Could it be that you are bisexual? To whom are you really attracted to? Things will change as you mature b/c by then your heart will know what she wants.
Hi to all!
I know one very attractive girl for say, 7 weeks. We are visiting a course – I missed some lessons, but when I’m sitting in a room with her I always talk to her.I was staring at her, when teacher spoke something to me, so I stopped looking at her and asked the teacher what was she saying. I was making her company after the course and waited a tram with her – but it was only once and in the beginning of the course, when I had a chance to spend some time alone with her. Last time she opened a door for me and it is interesting that it is listed between good signs – and it is only sign I observed. I am making a plan how to get close to her, but I guess it would be better to be spontain.The course lasts 5 more weeks – 2 lessons per week-so I don’t have much time. Another problem is that she lives in small town/almost village near the city where I live. Although she goes to school in my city,the school in pretty long travel by bus, so I don’t have much chances to spend time with her. Please give me some useful advice promptly(I will be very thankful)
@ pieceofpaper – Thanks for taking the time to share your story.
You indicated that you are interested in this girl who came from a very small town and that worries you because it takes a long travel by bus if you decide to pursue her.
Weigh in the pros and cons. What would benefit you if you take the risk of taking long trips to visit the girl? What are your chances of winning her? Or will you just be wasting your time, money and effort? If you think otherwise then don’t bother.
What you feel may just be an attraction of some sort that can fade away with time. Remember, out of sight is out of mind. As school ends so will seeing her in class ends. Test the waters before you dive into it. Meaning — feel the days when you don’t see her and see if you miss her. If not, then go on with life. Long distance relationship is not that easy.
Hi,
I am a straight woman with a boyfriend of 8 years but recently, at the supermarket, I feel strange with another woman.
At first, I thought she was dragging my bf but one day, I was alone and she returned on me, smiling me. Second time, I saw her in the parking, she watched me. Few days after, again, I was speaking with my bf and I saw her, and she saw me too. She stopped working and she smiled at me, a little smile and it feels nice looking me straight in the eye. I frowned in surprise. She’s really pretty, thin and not really tall with really beautiful brown eyes. The last day, I saw her, arriving behind the alley, I see her and she sees me at the same moment. There was a lot of people these day but our eyes were connected at this moment. You know, when the time stopped for seconds (8s!) but as usual I looked down. Every time I was in this supermarket, she was there and she looks at me. This exchanges of looks is a kind of connection, but this makes me a little scared. What do you think about that? Is that on friendship or seduction? I don’t know many people in this little town and I cannot talk about this about my bf, this is not his business. Am I supposed to speak with her ?
(Sorry for faults, I’m not English and thanks for reading.)
@surprise – Thanks for sharing. Reading your story, it seems like there is nothing to be scared about. She may just have admired how you look. However, when someone looks at you more than the usual thing then this is something that you should care about. How many times you look at a person? The usual way… If she looks at you more than twice then something in her is going on. Your instinct will tell you there is something in you that calls her attention.
Hi!
I have a feeling of complexity toward a friend of mine. We’ve known each other for 2 years. She’s a straight girl (I believe) and she used to have a boyfriend, but they just broke up for some reasons. I’ve never had any feeling for her until recently when I feel something strange happened between us. She started to get close to me. When we and other friends hang out, she usually sit next to me with her leg touching mine (she didn’t seem to back it off when our legs touched and actually, I was the one who yanked away) and when our friends take the picture of the fun times, she always ask them to take the picture of us together; sometimes she just put her hands and her chin on my shoulder or hug me from behind for the post. And once when we had a trip with other friends, she demanded to sit next to me in the bus (to me I think it’s normal because I’m a fun person to be with) and she fell asleep with her head on my shoulder(it’s also normal, right?) . She always admires my cleverness and say that wherever she goes, she always feels safe with me by her side. I like to tease her a lot and I remember once I teased her about her look, she grabbed my butt and slap my shoulder in a playful way. She really got me feeling so confused! I always try to tell myself that she’s just being over friendly. But I do notice that she seems to strangely pays extra attention to me. In facebook, she always mention me in her comments, and always reply every comment I posted for her (she doesn’t seem to do so with other friends) and she always try to keep the chain of comments going (just the 2 of us talking) and sometimes she calls me “Babe” in the comments when she sees some of my old friends play with me in a romantic way like they miss me, they wanna hug me and kiss me or something (we were just playing). She even makes the photo of us together as her cellphone wallpaper and at her facebook profile. And from time to time, she puts “I love you” with a kiss emoticon at the end of her chat message to me. P.S I’m a tomboy and I’m not a flirty kind; and her? she’s a feminine girl (not the cute kinda girl, but kinda gorgeous) and she’s quite mature. Gosh! she got me very confused!
@ Curios – thanks for sharing your story. She likes you and is attracted to. She may just be too shy to confess her feelings towards you. She may be playful but the kind of attention your getting from her is outside of the ordinary. Girls don’t give too much attention towards somebody unless there is some sort of attraction going on in her mind. Be patient and wait until such time she cannot control her feelings anymore. There will come a time that she will make a revelation. Play hard to get and see what happens. If she can’t take it she will reveal. Good luck and don’t get yourself confused.
Ok, so there’s this girl I met at a camp last summer and we hung out and talk together a lot and maybe 3 days into camp I started to like and noticed how pretty she was. Anyway I think she’s straight, but during camp on time she was writing stuff in a notebook and I asked her what she was doing and she says “I’m just writing your name” which she a bunch of times in different ways. One day she asked me what my last name was and I told her and then on Facebook book she posted “I love (my name)”. Also we played around a lot, like one day when we were snowboarding and skiing, I cut her off a lot cuz it was funny and she wouldn’t get mad she’d just laugh, also she ran into me one time and we both fall on top of each other, pretty much in a very awkward sexual way, and she wasn’t in a hurry to get back up or was like,”ahh get off me!”. She also asked me a lot of questions about myself. She was kind of touchy sometimes, but I don’t have many friends that are girls so I don’t know if this is normal or not. One day I was just sitting on a bunch by myself just looking around, and she came and sat right next to me, but I don’t know if she was just keeping me company. She also added me on Facebook and she almost always talks to me, even though it’s over a year later she still does, and other people show that know her too and talk to her, she still brings me up outta know where and like when it was my b-day, it doesn’t show it on Facebook though, she was the first person to wish me one, and was like” I love you and miss” and she says that a lot. And I don’t know, but she brings me up a lot and is like “oh I miss you, I need some time with you” and stuff like that but I don’t know if that’s just normal for girls, cuz I don’t really know. I didn’t really see her looking at me a lot cuz I tried not to look at her so hopefully she wouldn’t get mad that a girl likes her. But I don’t want to say anything just yet cuz I don’t want to freak her or anyone else out, but I could use some advice if she’s flirting or just being a nice friend. please help I’m really bad at this kind of stuff!!
@ whit – Thanks for sharing your story. Based on what you wrote, it is obvious she likes you. Girls are hard to understand sometimes. Analyze every situation and you will know what it means. Instances like telling the world via Facebook that she loves someone is something to think about. A girl on her right mind would not state things like that in public when she doesn’t mean anything at all. A girl who likes someone will not say upfront she likes someone. She will do it in her own special way and it is up to you to catch every hint of it. Good luck!
Hey! I’m very confused at this moment. Okay I am a lesbian and I just started going to this lgbtq community center. I met this girl that works there and she is also a lesbian. She’s only a few years older than me and I’m sorta attracted to her but I’m confused if she feels the same about me. Some of the things I notice that she’ll do makes me wonder if she does. I’ll give you a few examples: Okay when I first went to the meeting it was only a few people there. It was three gay guys and three lesbians including me and her. I was sitting in a seat at the table and when she came in she sat beside me. Not exactly beside me but like at the head of the table, and through out the entire meeting I kept feeling her eyes on me. But I just chalked it up to me being new and her not knowing me so well because two of the gay guys seemed infatuated with me too lol. After the meeting I tried to get more information about the program from her but kept being interrupted by two rude people. One of them was a girl who hit me. Well she asked my name and called me a cutie and freaked me out. Since the program was over it was just the four of us. Don’t know why the other two stuck around they were just there. I went back to asking her questions and one of the rude people made a comment about how she was flirting with the youth (she meaning the girl that worked there and the youth being me but I’m actually 20) we both laughed at the comment and continued on but I just got fed up and told her I’ll see her tomorrow. She seemed a little disappointed but said ok you seem a little tired and I replied back saying that I was disturbed. But I wasn’t talking about her just the other two people and I don’t know if she thought I was talking about her. The next time I saw her was after Christmas when we had a meeting. Just a few people came. Had a good time and whatever got to know each other a little. During this one activity it was serious topic we discussed letting them know a little about me. And we went around the room saying what two things we looked for in a mate and I said space and communication. And when it got to her she said openness and communication but we couldn’t say what someone else said so I think she said honesty. And that’s when my curiosity was peeked because she said she wanted someone who was open and honest. I was very open and honest with what I said hell that entire day I was very open. Also throughout the entire day she kept trying to get me to eat but I told her I wasn’t hungry but it seemed like she wanted to go out of her way to make me eat. But I don’t know if she was being nice or what. The next activity we had was like yoga. First time doing it but I had no problems with it while everyone looked they were in pain and couldn’t keep their balance. So afterwards she brought it up and said I was very flexible and asked if I played sports. I told her when I was younger but I had always been flexible. And it seem like she was asking questions to get to know me better which was cool. But then when I go to leave with another girl that was with her she asked us for a hug. Again my curiosity was peeked this was like my third time seeing her but this was her first time asking for a hug. I had no problem with it but it was kind of strange. The very next time I saw her she smiled at me which she did every time she saw me and sat next to me. I mean there was a seat she could’ve sat in but she said next to me. And through out the day she kept glancing at me and trying to include into some of the conversations the other members were having. And what peeked my curiosity again was when she had asked a question that I thought was for everyone in general she looked at me for a long time. Although I wasn’t looking at her and pretended as if I didn’t hear her at all and kept my focus on the ground. But out of the corner of my eye I saw her almost like studying my face. Okay so those are things that peeked my curiosity but these are the things that confuse me. Before I even started going to the meetings I was texting her about the program and she said it was okay for me to text her and ask her questions. But after our first meeting and when I texted her Merry Christmas I got no response. But when there was a meeting she texted me and when I replied she responded back. After the yoga thing and the hug around New Years I wished her a happy New Years she didn’t respond but after a few days asked if I was coming to the meeting. I don’t know if she’s just being nice and friendly and I’m just feeding way too much into it or if she does like me she doesn’t want to jeopardize her job by asking me out. So I need help with whether I should let it go or pursue her. But I honestly get the feeling that she likes me more than as a friend.
@SubtleBeauty – Thanks for sharing your story. The girl likes you, definitely. But, don’t be too excited. Liking has different meaning. She may just like you as a friend or she may like you as being you. That being said, it is too early to tell so suggests to get to know her better. Don’t rush. Take your time and in time you will have an answer to your question.
Don’t be confused. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you stare or study a person’s face if you are not interested? Would you sit beside a complete stranger if you are not interested in that person? Would you give your sweetest smile to someone you are not interested at all? Good luck!