Keeping a long-distance relationship across the miles is no easy task. It requires hard work, perseverance and patience. Those of us who have been there can all attest that it is very hard.
There are different kinds of long-distance relationships, but the more daunting one is a long distance relationship between lesbians.
A lesbian who is involved in a long-distance relationship should prepare herself in making the relationship work. While it is hard even if both are residing in the same country and one can easily visit the other, it is even harder for couples who are separated not just by distance but by immigration issues as well. The complexity of getting a partner to join the other is sometimes the reason of a relationship breakdown.
Here are some tips to keep the relationship survive and thrive:
1. Defining your terms. One can ease a lot of discomfort and confusion by defining the expectations in advance. Unless you are comfortable with a casual, non-exclusive relationship, one should be prepared to move and join the other. Physical proximity makes a lot of difference in making a relationship grow.
2. Communication. Talk more often on the phone. If the phone bill is rising, send an email or use the free services of Skype. Both of you can talk long hours without worrying about the bill. And there are more free services out there that you can tap. You just need to find a way to limit your cost. Use the phone only when necessary. It’s more exciting also to send email once in a while. Send an e-card or leave a voice message.
3. Share the burden. Since both of you are in it, it’s fair enough to share the bill. Most, if not all, would just be for phone bill.
4. Make the most of your time together. Whenever you have the chance to be together, be it on the phone or physical presence, it is very important that you make the most out of it. Spend and enjoy time together. Watch movie, eat out or go shopping. If one has a very limited time spend time together in the privacy of your room or in a hotel.
5. Trust and avoid being jealous. In a long-distance relationship, trust is very important to make the relationship work. While any sign of jealousy may mean that you care and really love the person, it may mean distrust to the other. Avoid being jealous and trust that everything will turn out well.
6. Be positive. Stay positive and avoid the negative sides of a long-distance relationship. Staying positive is essential in keeping the relationship alive. Divert yourself into something productive like career enhancements or pursuing other interests or hobbies. Keep in mind that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
7. Talk about future together. Assuming ultimately you’d want to live together, discussing how you’re going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.