Here is a story of a straight woman who was deeply in love with her long-time lesbian partner, but was betrayed and was devastated. They’ve been together for three years living the life every lesbian couple could imagine.

The betrayal

She trusted her lesbian partner. She caters to her needs and all that goes with the role of a housewife. She thinks that everything in their lesbian relationship was okay and that they will never separate ways. They promised to be together for the rest of their lives.

It turns out that her lesbian partner has a lesbian affair with another woman. She was very devastated. She never expected her lesbian partner to betray her after all that she did for her. The lesbian partner she thinks she will have for the rest of her life is having a lesbian affair with another woman.

Dear Jandi,

Breaking up with someone you love is the most painful and stressful thing that you can feel specially if your partner betrayed you. The person you thought you could trust and count on is no longer the person you believed them to be.

I would like to share how I deal with my emotions after the break up. I had a relationship with someone whom I’ve known during my teen age days.  Being in love will let you feel the happiest and the loneliest moments of your life. I am happy, seeing how happy she is with me feeling the love and care we shared. After three years  together  we broke up. Breaking up with someone you still love is hard however more pain will be caused by trying to stay together if the relationship truly cannot work out.

How dumb am I not to recognize the signs. Staying with someone having  an affair with someone else is not worth the effort .  I can’t believe I  wasted so much time and effort on a partner who didn’t appreciate what I’ve done.

I am angry with myself, with my ex partner and I feel so lost, alone and confused. It came to a point that ” I want to die now” to stop the pain. I keep wondering when the pain is ever going to stop. Trying to stop crying but the tears just keep coming. Finding it hard to focus on anything and thinking I am a total failure of love and  never have the kind of relationship I want. I don’t know how to get to the next step. I kept asking myself. Is it time to move on, but how?

Leaving the past behind is hard enough. I’m stuck in my room almost everyday and that makes me more crazy. Until I found myself letting go of the anger and pain. I need to accept that our relationship is over, and there will be no turning back. Contacts should be stopped. I know I am not the only woman to have experienced this kind of  heartache. I am having a hard time moving on but I must do something. I go to church regularly and pray. Prayers helps  a lot to regain my strength. I go out with friends and having fun, and shared my sorrows with them. It is a big relief to share your grief with someone else. And I was lucky enough to have few friends who are willing to listen to my sorrows and  support me during my grieving process.  I keep myself busy so as not to think of the anger and pain.

Betrayal changes everything. It changes one as a person. When trust is lost, anger persists. A broken heart full of pain and sorrows that is long and lasting. Experiencing betrayal is tough, but we should face our fears by taking risks, building positive relationships. So, I’m picking myself up and starting over.

Trying to remain friends after a break up usually doesn’t work. It is hard and awkward for both.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 God does have great plans for my life. After the storm comes the sun.To my surprise I found love from someone that I never thought would come. I know there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. But, people grow through experience.

From: Anonymous

Lesson from the Story:

Never give your all. Leave something for yourself. In other words, love yourself before loving somebody.

Here are some scenarios as to why some wives have lesbian affairs:

1. The husband lacks the charm and warmth;

2. The husband is not caring;

3. The husband does not show love at all;

4. The husband is irresponsible;

5. The husband lacks the personality wives are looking for;

6. The wife is gay or lesbian. What type of lesbian is she?

7. The wife feels complete when being with a lesbian.

The list can go on. These husbands then want their wives to feel guilty about their lesbian affairs. So, how can a husband do it?

Here are some tips to make your wife feel guilty about her lesbian affair:

1. Do the opposite of the above first five scenarios. That means you have to be more responsible, loving, caring, etc.

2. Be intimate to your wife;

3. Pamper your wife more than how a lesbian pamper her.

4. Have an open communication with your wife.

5. Lastly, pamper and pamper, but not to the extent of suffocating her.

Somehow, a wife who feels loved and cared for by the man she marries will most likely refrain from doing what she should not be doing. Women like to be pampered all the time and that’s the key to having your wife back.

However, no matter how hard you try to make your wife feel guilty about her lesbian affair, there is nothing you can do if your wife is a lesbian.

Can that happen?

Yes. These are women who later in their lives realize that they are lesbians and want to be with women rather than with men.

While this can be painful to the husband, this can also be painful to the wife who now feels unhappy being tied to the marriage bond. The wife who later in her married life realizes she is a lesbian and wants to be with another woman will nowhere have room for happiness even being with a caring, loving and responsible husband.

So, why do married men feel they are threatened by lesbians?

Lesbians are known for being so caring, loving, open and very intimate to their partners and these lesbian attitudes toward their partners can be considered threat to men especially the married ones.

Yes, it can be fun, exciting and flattering if you, as a woman, is able to attract both persons of the same and opposite sex. But, what if you are already married? Now, that’s a disadvantage.

While a woman who is single may find it enjoyable to be with another woman, it could turn a family life apart in the case of a married woman. A single woman, unlike married women, can choose to have a lesbian affair. She may be free to do so as she has no commitment with anyone. And, unlike single women, a married woman’s emotional freedom is tied to the marriage vows. While there are husbands who openly accept their wives having a lesbian affair, still others hate to hear and see their wives having a lesbian affair. The freedom to have an affair for a married woman is no longer present. And if she choose to do so, there are great repercussions she has to face.

If you are one of the many married women who cannot survive without keeping the lesbian affair, here are some helpful tips you can take:

1. Be honest with your husband. Talk to your husband openly about the whole situation. This can be a great relief on your part if you are able to release the guilt that you’ve been holding up inside. Don’t hide it, instead talk it out. You need to lift that heavy burden that you’ve been carrying all along with you all this while. Expect the discussion to be dirty but don’t forget to keep your core. Explain to the best of your ability as to why you are feeling that way. It maybe that you found out later in your marriage life that you are a lesbian or you are just confused or that you already knew that you are a bi-sexual woman before you married your husband.

2. Be true to yourself. Being honest with yourself can help you find your way. What is it in life that do you really want? What makes you happy? These are common questions that may help you decide in life. Will it make you happy and life more fulfilling if you are beside your lesbian lover?

3. Follow your heart. Love is like a poison. It sometimes is uncontrollable. If you follow the dictates of your heart will it make you happy? Then go for it. In life, it is just a matter of choice and whatever choice you make, make sure you’ll have no regrets.

If you are a woman who has a lesbian affair, feels guilty about it and want to make things straight, here are some helpful tips:

1. Back off. Disconnect yourself from a possible lesbian affair. Think about why you married your husband in the first place. Why did you? Avoid every possible connection with the lesbian. The lesbian affair can hit hard on you if you let your emotion in. It can be fun and exciting at first, but once emotion runs deep it can make things complicated. This can lead you to getting more confused about yourself and how to go about a lesbian affair while you’re married. Erase all contact information or gifts you may have received from the lesbian. Getting rid of these will help you move on.

2. Pray. Prayer is the best weapon to fight a war against emotion. Pray, it works! It never fails!

3. Family first. Spend more time with your family. Tending to your family’s affair is more of an obligation than a responsibility.

This is a letter from husband who endured lots of pain and jealousy because of wife’s lesbian affair.

Wife Has a Lesbian Affair

Pardon me as a man for reading and joining in. My wife is in love with a lesbian. She is still in love with me too. There are many complexities which I don’t need to go into here, but I do want to say that we have all been making it work for more than six years now. This dyke was attracted to my wife and became her best friend for about a year before letting her know about her attraction. When she did begin to try to draw her to her sexually, she talked with me about it at key points. They didn’t sleep together or even kiss before we all agreed it was all right. I was willing for my wife to have a woman lover but I had no idea how far they would go. Everything said here about how only a woman can give a woman what she needs, and about the feeling of intensity and addiction, rings true to their experience. Yes I have struggled with lots of pain and jealousy. But I can see my wife’s happiness and knowing that she still loves and wants me makes such a difference. All the relationships between us have grown close and intimate over time. If this dyke hadn’t gone with her heart feelings none of this would have happened. On balance I am glad she was not prudent or careful.

What Does Not Kill You Makes You Stronger

The husband should weigh a million times before ever thinking of leaving the wife because of the pain and jealousy the lesbian affair brings. He should keep in mind why he married his wife in the first place.

The husband should think that:

1. Lesbian affairs usually will not last long
2. There are many ways of making his wife want him more
3. Perhaps relocating to a new place could help save the marriage
4. Getting a counseling is helpful
5. There is no other way but to accept his wife for who she is with the hope that the lesbian affair will stop

There is no point keeping the wife, however, when there is no love anymore. But, as long as the love is still alive, the marriage vows is worth fighting for.

Remember the days you were still courting your wife. If you have to do it again, do it. Make your wife want you more instead of surrendering your manhood. Be a man and fight for your wife and for what you believe in is right. If you are concerned about your wife’s happiness. Sit down and talk to her, heart and soul. If she says she still loves you then maybe she is just confused of how things are going for herself. If that’s the case, things are in your favor. Make her believe that your marriage is worth saving than the lesbian affair. Go on a vacation. It’s a healthy way of rekindling the past.

If you are into this situation, what will you do? Any thoughts?

Same holds true for lesbian affairs. A lesbian affair can be very exciting, fun and can provide a lot of adventure to a restless soul.

The Lesbian Love Affair

Remember when you first meet? How did you feel about it? What was your first reaction? Or when you hear her voice for the very first time? Did it excite you or were you scared? Yes, it does give excitement to a bored and lonely soul knowing she can be your potential partner. You go on a date, once, twice, then over and over again until you realize you are falling for her. Suddenly, you feel very empty without her. What you did was … let yourself love her more. Then things change — the lesbian affair is putting you under a lot of stress.

The Stressful Realization

A lesbian affair can be intense or it can be complicated and have you stressed. A lesbian affair can produce an intense romance when the parties involved are ready to enter into a lesbian relationship. This is true for lesbians who are single, ready and totally out to family and friends. Or it could have you stressed.

A case in point is a lesbian affair with a married woman who has kids. As majority of these married women will go after the welfare of their kids rather than go and fulfill their lesbian dreams, it can be frustrating and disappointing to the other person. It can cause a stir in the relationship and it could be very stressful. Arguments will ensue resulting in heartbreaks.

Same is true when a third party is involved. Knowing your lesbian partner has found somebody else can be very stressful as you try to go and find out what could be the cause of her flirting with other girls.

So, how do you avoid all the stress? Below are some helpful tips:

1. Make yourself available to single women. Don’t settle for less when there are a lot of choices out there. Move on, unless you see a sign that your married partner is in it for the long haul.

2. Look good and feel good. In other words, keep up the hygiene, the charm, the good looks, etc. intact.

3. Don’t forget to love yourself. In other words, don’t give all your love but leave something behind for yourself. When it’s time to tear the love apart, it would be easier for you to move on.

4. Always keep in touch with friends. Sometimes we forget our friends when our attention is focused on the one we love the most.

5. Trust in yourself. You are the only one who can make things better for yourself.

6. Know that things happen for a reason. There are things in life that happens for a reason and it could mean that something better awaits you.

Before you delve into a lesbian affair, take into consideration what you are looking for in a person. There are certain things that you have to watch out for before diving into one. Entering into a lesbian affair is no laughing matter just like in any kind of relationship.

For example, you may not want to enter into a lesbian affair with a married woman as it can complicate things in the future.

How to have a Lesbian Affair?

If you have already come out in the closet, it may not be hard for you to have a lesbian affair especially if you have the looks or is physically attractive. Some women are usually drawn to these type of lesbians because of the physical appeal. It can start as an admiration which can grow into attraction then followed by a desire. Go out and observe the girls around you. Observe how they look at you or smile at you. A woman’s look or smile may be a hint that she is drawn to you.

It’s kind of hard to have a lesbian affair if you are still in the closet as women will not know what you are really up to. However, there is a way for you to have a lesbian affair no matter how secretive you are. Join dating sites to find a lesbian date. Most dating sites are now open to lesbians. Take it from there.

If you have the courage to approach the woman that you really like, start by learning the art of seducing a straight woman first.