Should a wife be more affectionate to the husband or to the lesbian lover?

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Written By: jandi on December 14, 2009 No Comment

Y-Woo.com received a very interesting story from a man who accidentally discovered his wife’s lesbian affair. Below is his comment to one of our articles, entitled “Lesbian Affair with a Married Woman” with question on how to get his wife and his wife’s lover to be open up more to being hugged by him and letting it linger — an affection that he feels should be mandatory in their three way relationship.

“Interesting, I’m a married man that accidentally discovered my wife’s long term lesbian affair. I came home a day early from a business trip, unannounced.

A little background statement so the scene will be clearer. We had discussed over several years of including another woman in a threeway. I know the most popular male fantasy.

We have been married for almost 15 years and together including early stages of dating for 20. Have two kids both are teens. Have what I’d call a good marriage. Wife has a super high sex drive so the sex never dropped off. Afterwards, learning from her what she was after from each was different so her being bi, she had meeting each of our (her lover’s, both husband and Lesbian lover) needs. She got most of the foreplay and soft love from her and she was primed and ready for the more aggressive straight sex we had, and yes often in the same day.

Well, back to the afternoon when I walked (slipped) in, with our anniversary coming up I just assumed that this was getting to know one another sex to make the 3way better or less awkward. So I strip down and joined in, the lover knowing who I was and afraid of both losing all contact with the wife and the fallout for the wife if she objected never objected, she herself admitted that she had had somewhat good relations with men in the past, was how she allowed herself to just go with it. Wasn’t until in the aftermath that their 3/4 confession was revealed. I say 3/4 confession as there is still something they both held back, like exactly how long for one. You know us guys, we want to know all the who, what where, when, why, and how often. Most was revealed but there were a few questions they talked around, ignored or refused to answer.

As for the marriage and her other life, well we are still married and the woman now lives with us. They have most of their sex late at night or during the day while the kids are at school or sound asleep. The wife is in love with us both and since neither I or her girlfriend force her to make a choice she gets her cake and eats as well. Works for me now that she doesn’t have to hide anything from me she is even freer in bed and even more horny if possible. I have installed hidden spy cams in their room with their knowledge. The concession they allowed for my being understanding. It has improved my foreplay skills, but she usually is in a rush for the other, says she gets all of that that she needs from her gf. I still make them get together with me for the occasional 3way.

My only two problems is one still their refusal to come 100% clean and her reluctance to trust me enough not tell me she was bi early on in our relationship since her having sex with girls/women goes back to her high school days. Well one more small one, is believe it or not cuddling, now she doesn’t have to hide her woman gets most of that affection.

My question, is how to not only get the wife but her lover to both open up more to being hugged by me and letting it linger, you know some affection I feel should be mandatory? You know, we men get a bad rap in that we don’t ever want to snuggle without it leading to sex, but I suspect they just assume I’m after sex, not true sometimes I’m tired or have had a bad day or just want to say thanks for what you each do, type stuff. I mean the wife is outwardly happier than I’ve ever seen her, little to no stress. The extra income her lover brings in means we only know have monthly recurring stuff, which means I now don’t have to work so much o.t. and accept any but mandated out of town travel. You know we guys aren’t all jerks all the time, lol. Guess, I just don’t want to sound petty or like I’m overly jealous, while getting it across that I one shouldn’t have to either ask or demand a hug and that it should linger a little. You know I get this feeling at times like while the wife loves me she is in love with her. I feel a little guilty for bitching since most would say I’m getting laid more than most husbands, but we all know deep down it is much more than that. Hope I made myself clear as I’m a math major type and this writing stuff isn’t something I have to do often. Thanks”.

Now, the question that comes to mind is: Should a wife and her lesbian lover be more open to the husband in terms of affection?

The Lesbian Affection

Lesbian affection towards men and women are completely different. Being a lesbian, she can be more affectionate with a woman rather than with a man. If the wife is a lesbian (bi-sexual), then her affection towards her lesbian lover can be more intimate than towards her husband. Remember, there are girls stuff that only girls know and talk about. Just like there are guys stuff that only guys know and talk about that they want to keep to themselves. In other words, while the lesbian wife can be intimate to the husband, there is a tendency that she can be more intimate when she is with her lesbian lover. This brings us to the statement that “only a woman knows what a woman wants.”

Most Men Are Envious

A man is a man and he will prove that to himself by not letting anyone take her wife away from his bed. While this may be true, some men are open to having another woman in the husband and wife relationship. Stories are very common of threeway or threesome. Some men loved it while others call it “disgusting.”

There are also men who become envious of the wife’s lesbian relationship but not jealous or jealous but not envious. Take the case of a man who gets envious to his wife’s lesbian lover. He envied his wife’s lesbian lover not because his wife is very sweet to her but because he does not have that hidden talent that his wife’s lesbian lover have.

Keep the Jealousy Away

Jealousy can be quite difficult to handle. A feeling of rage will overpower and eat up the once happy husband-wife relationship. Control the rage, anger and jealousy, if there is any, and, instead, work out for a solution to have your wife’s affection back to you completely.

Any thoughts to share? You are welcome here!

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